Thursday, July 16, 2009

Here am I. Send me!

I'm not sure how often you're "supposed" to post to your blog, but I feel like I'm making up for lost time. So, if these posts are too frequent to begin with, I'll pray that you don't get sick of me, and maybe in a few weeks, they'll be fewer and farther between.

Or maybe they won't. My husband and I talked about blogs on the walk to seminary yesterday, and I thought about whether or not I should start one. I wondered, Do I have anything worthwhile or unique to say? And I questioned my motives. Did I want a blog just because "everyone else" had one?

But God's been impressing on me the issue of calling lately. For me, writing is part of that calling, and I've been challenged to take that calling more seriously. A few weeks ago in Sunday School, we studied God's call to Moses in Exodus 3 and 4, and I found myself identifying with Moses and the excuses he gave the Lord. "What if they won't listen?" "I'm not eloquent." And I add a few of my own: "I'm too busy raising a child, soon-to-be two." "I'm at a different season of my life than the other writers I know." "I don't have enough experience."

And God says to me what He said to Moses. "Who has made man's mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now then go, and I, even I, will be with your mouth and teach you what you are to say." (Exodus 4:11-12, NASB)

That promise isn't enough for Moses, who then begs God to send the message through someone else. I don't know that I've ever begged God to do that, but twice in recent memory, He's shown me that if I won't write for Him, He'll find someone who will. In both instances, it's been through people who would say of themselves that they aren't writers but felt a burden from the Lord to communicate His message that way. Those were wake-up calls to me to embrace the calling and obey God's leading to write.

When the prophet Isaiah was called, the Lord asked, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?" Isaiah said, "Here am I. Send me!" Only after he responds does he find out what God's plan is. Me, I always want to know the details first before I volunteer. Where are we going, Lord? How will we get there? What are we going to do, exactly? But if I knew all that ahead of time, I'd probably never sign up for anything!

It's scary to say to God, "Here am I. Send me!" But if He chooses us for a task, we won't regret saying "yes" whole-heartedly. And if we won't do it, He will find someone else.

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