Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Every Day, Jesus

I'm still new at this stay-at-home mom thing. It's been almost a year since I quit my job and moved from the Midwest to the Mid-Atlantic to join my husband on the adventure we call seminary. Part of the adventure has been for me, the former "breadwinner" of our relationship, to stay home with our now toddler daughter. Financially, it looked like a suicide decision, but God has shown Himself faithful beyond our imaginations. Emotionally, it's been a roller coaster. Spiritually, it's been like appearing on "The Biggest Loser" -- God is trimming the excess from my life to make me a lean, mean, spiritual machine. Or something like that.

One of my biggest struggles has been with mundaneness. I worked in journalism for 8 years -- I'm used to deadline pressures, breaking news and the exhiliration of a story well-written or a page well-designed. Some days, it seems all I've done is cook, wash dishes and hang clothes out to dry. And I wonder: Am I wasting my college degree? Am I doing anything worthwhile with my life? What IS my purpose now?

I suspect I'm not alone. That there are other mothers asking the same questions in the midst of a day at home and other people, in general, who wonder if their work is all there is to life.

Recently I read in Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest" this passage about the Christian life: "Jesus does not ask me to die for Him, but to lay down my life for Him ... It is far easier to die than to lay down the life day in and day out with the sense of the high calling. We are not made for brilliant moments, but we have to walk in the light of them in ordinary ways."

I long to do something great, something big in the "grand scheme," but in reality, I may not ever make a huge impact, and what I consider "grand scheme" may be small potatoes to God. He has better vision than I do, and He can see what truly matters about my life and what I'm doing. So, I'm trying to see Jesus in the so-called mundane stuff of life. How can I serve Him in my ordinary life? What can I do each day that will last forever?

I'm learning that cooking, dishes and laundry may be all God wants me to accomplish in a day, but by serving my family, creating a loving and somewhat orderly home, and teaching and caring for my daughter, I'm also serving God.

1 comment:

  1. I can relate. I've asked many of the same questions and had many of the same feelings you have. I do agree w/your conclusion as well. It's serving God w/your whole heart right where he puts you!